Anger Management
Tuesday 10 December 2024
It is often said that a good way to manage your anger is to get into the martial arts dojo. An intensive workout followed by some competitive sparring is certainly known not only for getting the toxins out of your system but also the darker, more psychological afflictions like depression - and anger.
Nevertheless, anger is a very real emotion, and if it's not handled properly, can be very destructive, to you as well as other people. And you can't be in the dojo all the time. We'll save you the psychiatric questions like “What exactly is making you angry? Is it yourself you're angry with?”, and instead just offer some practical techniques you help you deal with it.
Deep breaths
It's surprising how many of us neglect breathing once we've stepped outside the dojo. But it's a great, ongoing exercise at any time. Become more conscious of your breathing and its simple rhythm, while you're walking along, when you're lifting things (breathe out as you lift, breathe in before and after), and even when you're sitting down. It's literally the breath of life, without which there is no energy, nothing. And you're in charge of it. Fill your lungs, not just during exertion, but as a pleasurable thing to do. If you get into a controversial situation, you'll find deep breathing especially useful. It can save you escalating the situation with inflammatory language, and often produce an atmosphere of calmness (then if you do have to act physically, it will come as a much bigger surprise to your opponent!).
Meditate
Some folk do a lot of this, but even the odd 5-minute break from everything and everyone, to just be on your own, rhythmically breathing, emptying your mind (or thinking of something beautiful), and you'll discover meditation can sometimes be more powerful than medication!
Talk about them, not you
Anger often comes from taking offence, putting yourself at the centre of the universe, and it can make you very vulnerable. Showing empathy or sympathy with their situation will often have a magical effect on your own problems (it's similar to the old maxim that instructors always learn more than their students during the teaching process).
Have a laugh at your own expense
See the ridiculous side of life, and your crazy part of it, and use humour to have a laugh about it. Identify what's made you angry in the past, and create a comedy in your mind about those events. See the funny side. Think about it, that's how comedy writers work. They take a serious situation and send it up.
Turn a problem into a challenge
Because challenges are actually what problems are. Like the labours of Hercules, the problems you face are there to be overcome, not to defeat you and make you angry. Instead, be determined, even excited, to overcome the challenge. When you study it, that's what the belt systems are all about at the dojo. There's always the next hurdle, the next milestone, to face and achieve victory.